Ball of Confusion

You’re walking down the street. You’re in a good mood. The sun feels good, warm against your skin. Someone bumps into you, doesn’t phase you. A car horn honks loudly, you let it pass. A woman next to you cackles into her cellphone. On any other day, it’d be annoying. Not today.

You notice… Could it be? You notice that people are staring at you? Did you forget to zip up? Some people are smiling at you. That NEVER happens. The world somehow feels like a kinder, gentler place. You have a day of work ahead of you, but you’re looking forward to it. You have that big presentation tomorrow. It’s exciting, not anxiety producing. Why is today different from every other day?

You’ve got the mojo.

We’re always hearing about people who have the mojo. People who make their own breaks, “s/he’s done well for himself”. “S/he has an aura about him/her”, “I was taken with him/her”, “S/he’s got a magnetism”, “people are drawn to him/her”… And today, you’re one of those people. Why? You don’t know. Maybe you woke up on the right side of the bed, perhaps you stepped in something a dog left behind, or could be just dumb luck, but here you are, savoring every moment of this glorious day. And people seem to be cognizant and attracted to your energy. Another stranger smiles at you. Gee, maybe you should smile everyday. What’s stopping you?

Are you attracted to people who are frowning, depressed or embroiled in personal issues? No? Join the club. What does attract you? People who are happy, smiling… open.

And, guess what?? You can be one of those people!!! Honestly, wouldn’t you rather be that joyful person who appreciates everyone and everything? A person that others are drawn to? Sure you would.

The bad news is, like any worthwhile endeavor, it takes work.

But look at the rewards!!

It’s really difficult to grow into the “new” you when your diet is based on the “old” you.

If you want your spirit to fly, you can’t eat bacon double cheeseburgers with french fries and a chocolate shake chaser. It’s not only that your body can’t readily digest all of that… stuff, it’s that it weighs you down figuratively AND literally.

Religious figures claim that fasting brings them closer to God. I would suggest that when you fast, you seem closer to a lot of things because you’re basically catching a bit of a high. Eating less probably has a similar effect and does seem to increase an individual’s receptivity to other worldly phenomenon.

That said, next time you want a hamburger, fix some steamed broccoli; pizza, stir fried vegetables; burrito, have a salad. Eating healthily can make your world a better place!

As I’ve mentioned many times, your brain is your best friend and worst enemy. But you can’t very well separate yourself from the organ, so you’ll want to keep it in shape so that when you do need it, it’s there for you!

The bottom line is – human mental decline typically begins before 40 and unused parts of the brain simply stop working. Scary, right? Uh, yeah. So what do we do about that? We must take measures to keep our brains in shape!

The brain needs exercise. Practicing skills leads to better performance. Challenging the brain with new activities wakes up new areas. Try things you don’t already do. Challenging create new pathways that appear to become alternate routes when neurons die off in middle and old age.

Reasearch suggests:

• Reading to a small child enhances mental development

• Ongoing mental stimulation provides some protection against mental decline

• Avoid using calculators

• Swap TV for mind games or a book

• Play games that involve memory (bridge) or thinking ahead (chess)

• Take up a new hobby, learn a musical instrument, study a new language

• When you read a paper, consider your own editorial

• Prepare for retirement as a time for “serious leisure”, for a hobby or activity that involves “the whole being”

• Exercise all aspects of your brain with crosswords, sudoku, visual games, trivia quizzes, word games, mazes, a children’s section, and more.

• Nourish your brain with a healthy diet. Like any high-performance machine, the brain needs top quality fuel.

• Your brain needs a well-balanced, low cholesterol, low saturated (animal-fat) diet. Timing is significant in nutrition. Studies have demonstrated the importance of a good breakfast.

• Protein and unsaturated fat is especially important for developing brains. Fish, a rich source of both, is sometimes called brain food.

• Your body converts long strings of amino acids in the protein you eat to individual amino acids that your brain converts to the specific proteins it needs.

• Your brain needs vitamins and minerals; they come from your diet. Research suggests anti-oxidant vitamins E and C protect the brain.

• Avoid excess food. Reducing calories can help slow age-related brain changes

• Enjoy caffeine and alcohol in moderation.

• As a general rule, good nutrition for the body is good nutrition for the brain.

• Glucose is the fuel needed to keep the cells alive and functioning. Your liver, pancreas and kidneys work together to maintain the right level of glucose in your blood

• Your blood supplies glucose to your brain at a steady rate.

• When you concentration wanes in the late morning or afternoon, eating a snack containing sugar, such as fruit, can solve the problem

• Enjoy physical activity

• Exercise daily if possible. Set exercise priorities and stick to them.

• Regular exercise reduces depression and reduces cardiovascular risk factors, even a simple walk lets you think freely

• Some exercise states may produce euphoria, but even 12 minute bouts of exercise (to 85% maximum heart rate) release serotonin, dopamine, and noradrenaline (like taking Prozac)

• Exercise in the evening after a stressful day, rather than early in the day

• Take exercise opportunities- climb stairs (up to three floors) instead of taking the lift, schedule in regular five-minute walking breaks, park your car away from lifts, escalators so you have to walk further.

• Make “safety first” a priority

• Learn to manage anxiety, stress and depression. Anxiety increases heart rate and blood pressure and can lead to stroke.

• There is increasing evidence that stress actually damages the brain. The mechanism for this is thought to be the brain’s response to hormones that increase during periods of stress. These stress hormones can actually kill nerve cells in animals and are thought to do the same in humans.

• The steps you take to reduce stress are likely to preserve nerve cells and help maintain mental abilities.

• One of the toughest stresses is depression. 5-12% of men and 10-20% of women will suffer major depression at some stage. Major depression is not just sadness or grief, it is indescribably painful. Depression affects memory and slows brain metabolism.

• Major depression can lead to some degree of brain damage, affecting memory.

• Meditate!

• Actively relax by tensing then relaxing individual muscle groups

• Ensure there is a balance of work and recreation in your life.

• Take time out for yourself

• Relax and sleep well. During deep sleep, the brain repairs itself and boosts the immune system. During rapid eye movement (REM) sleep, the brain consolidates information learned during the previous day. Poor sleep or sleep loss leads to fatigue, immune suppression, memory, concentration and mood disorders.

Fine, so it’s quite the laundry list. Long story short, your brain needs your help to function properly.
Help a brother out!

So I decided to show you what I buy when I go to the grocery store. Lots of vegetables as it turns out. Looks like tomatoes, mushrooms, lemons, romaine lettuce, garlic, cauliflower, peppers, broccoli, blueberries… Funny, because my diet used to be a combination of fast food and junk food. What a difference.

So, everyone knows that the basic components of a healthy diet include the right amount of:

- Protein (found in fish, meat, poultry, dairy products, eggs, nuts, and beans)

- Fat (found in animal and dairy products, nuts, and oils)

- Carbohydrates (found in fruits, vegetables, pasta, rice, grains, beans and other legumes, and sweets)

- Vitamins (such as vitamins A, B, C, D, E, and K)

- Minerals (such as calcium, potassium, and iron)

- Water

I’ve probably been on a diet my whole life. I don’t think about what I eat, then run up some stairs and feel a jiggle… I know it’s diet time. Luckily, I have a lot of discipline, so as soon as I know I’m losing the weight battle, I pretty much stop eating… fine, I slow my eating.

Starting the diet is always the hardest part and I’ve found that eating fruits and vegetables gives me that full feeling without adding a whopping amount of calories. After a few days of my stomach shrinking, I’m in a much better place and don’t feel hungry… all the time!

Al of a sudden, my clothes fit better, I feel better, I look better. Then it’s just about maintenance which is also difficult because it’s during this period that many people go right back to the “before” diet and put back all the weight they just lost.

I bring this up because there really does seem to be a connection between spirit and diet. When I’m heavy, I feel grounded, often depressed and very much “of the world” (in a bad way). When I diet, I feel light, breezy, and open spiritually. Meditation goes more smoothly, I seem to be more open to people… I’ve been told that I radiate warmth!

So, next time you go to the store, spend 70% of your time buying fruits and vegetables, the other 30% buying everything else.

Your body (and your spirit) will appreciate it!

So let’s stay in the moment just a little longer.

This is me, writing a blog post. I could just say I’m typing, but that wouldn’t begin to scratch the surface of the experience.

I’m sitting in a chair that’s really comfortable which looks out on the city of Oakland. A beautiful scene, especially at night. I have these huge windows, so I can actually see the moon which is a half moon tonight and stunning!

The temperature is a cool sixty degrees, but a desired relief after today’s balminess. My refrigerator just made one of its sounds… something to do with the icemaker, I think. I’m wearing socks which are letting a bit of cool air circulate between my toes and I’m tapping my feet on my pergo floor. Rage Against the Machine playing in my head at the moment.

My stomach, which was growling an hour ago, is very happy at the moment. I just finished some stirfry cauliflower and added a bit too much garlic salt, I think. I think I need to brush my teeth.

Okay, mundane? Yes. But have I fully registered (if not experienced) the moment? Yes, I have. And with this as my focus, I’m not worried about the coming work week (why did I write that?) or the conference call on Wednesday or the fact that I didn’t call my ex-father in law for Father’s Day or that I’m off to NYC in a few weeks or that I ate way too much yesterday and now need to come up with an eating plan for the week….

Brain, is that you? That IS you ruining my blissful, present moment. I thought that was you. Will you give it a rest already? I don’t want to think about everything under the sun, I just want to savor this moment. Oh, right, that’s not what you do. You’re all about reviewing, critiquing and judging the past and mitigating risk in the future. Got it. Well, I’ll fix you…

This is me ending my blog post. Take that brain, you workaholic you.

How’s that for staying in the moment!

Do you sometimes feel like you’re experiencing life from a distance? You want to be in the moment, but you’re just not. I hate to tell you, but there’s only one thing keeping you from the present – your brain.

I remember living in New Jersey and eating dinner at a restaurant I’d been waiting for months to get a reservation to. The food was… good, but not nearly as wonderful as I had imagined. And that’s the key, I had imagined the experience many times before actually having the experience. Then, when I was having the experience, I was comparing it to the fantasy. What happened to the reality of the moment?!!!

We do this all the time whether we have concert tickets, a dentist appointment, a pre-planned vacation… Whatever the occasion, good or bad, we fantasize about it many times before we actually experience it. Unfortunately, this process gives us fantasy benchmark to compare the actual experience to and that’s not really a good thing.

Why not experience things as they come? At this very moment, you’re reading my words on your computer, but the chair you’re sitting in, the feel of the keyboard at your fingertips, the sounds you’re hearing, the lighting in the room that surrounds you are all part of this experience, so why not let them in?

There’s a great moment in the movie, “Grosse Point Blank”. John Cusack is an assassin whose psychiatrist tries to persuade him not to kill. As a part of the session, the psychiatrist tells John Cusack to repeat to himself “This is me breathing” to help him calm down. It sounds silly, but this technique works to make yourself come back to the present. And here’s the bonus – you can do this any time when you’re engaged in any activity!

If you are reading a book, start by saying to yourself “This is me reading a book”. Repeat it calmly, focusing on the very act. Pay attention to the elements involved: the feel of the fingers on the page, the weight of the book, the light illuminating the page, the temperature, ambient noise and the like.

As you repeat to yourself “This is me doing (whatever)”, you will start feeling relaxed as other matters lose importance. After a few minutes of keeping focused and repeating to yourself what you are doing, you will experience a feeling of well-being and peace. All stresses and worries will seem inconsequential.

This is because your awareness of the immediate reality increases, leaving no room for thoughts about any other thing beyond the present.

Your brain is your best friend and your worst enemy!
At this very moment, while you’re trying to focus on the “reading experience”, you think your brain “gets it” and wants to help you, right? WRONG!

Imagine buying a Porsche and then having to drive within a 25 mph speed limit. That’s your brain. It wants to do a million things, all at the same time. It wants to read the book you have i your hand, but it also wants to plan out the rest of the day, think about the project that’s due in three weeks, create a mental grocery list for the next time you go shopping, figure out a time to get your car fixed, make reservations for dinner for next Saturday night, figure out what shows you need to record on your DVR… And it doesn’t end there. Your brain is also thinking about what you should be doing right now instead of reading, it’s thinking about what other brains should be thinking, what you should have said at that meeting last week, what shoes you should wear tomorrow, what food you should be defrosting right now, what the meaning of life is, will people ever stop fighting, what would you do if you won the lottery… You get the picture.

Focus on the now, squeeze the nectar out of every moment, get your brain to focus on what you want it to focus on and you’ll be a much happier being!

Deep breathing is important from the standpoint of both health and spiritual development. Deep breathing increases our vitality and promotes relaxation. Unfortunately, when we try to take a so-called deep breath, most of us do the exact opposite: we suck in our bellies and raise our shoulders. This is shallow breathing. To learn deep breathing we need to do far more than learn new breathing exercises. Before deep breathing exercises can be of any lasting value, we need to experience and understand through the direct inner sensation of our own bodies the function of the chest and diaphragm in breathing, as well as the function of the belly, lower ribs, and lower back. We also need to observe how unnecessary tension in our muscles impedes our breathing.

The Mechanics of Deep Breathing
The diaphragm is a dome-shaped structure that not only assists in breathing, but also acts as a natural partition between our heart and lungs on the one hand, and all of the other internal organs on the other. The top of the diaphragm, located about one and one-half inches up from the bottom of the sternum, actually supports the heart, while the bottom of the diaphragm is attached all the way around our lower ribs and connects also to our lower lumbar vertebrae. When we breathe, the surface of our diaphragm generally moves downward as we inhale and upward as we exhale. (See if you can sense these movements periodically throughout your day.) When we breathe fully and deeply, the diaphragm moves farther down into the abdomen, and our lungs are able to expand more completely into the chest cavity. This means that more oxygen is taken in and more carbon dioxide is released with each breath. Deep breathing takes advantage of the fact that the lungs are larger toward the bottom than the top.

The Impact of Deep Breathing on Our Health
Deep breathing can have a powerful influence on our health. To understand how this is possible, we need to remember that the diaphragm is attached all around the lower ribcage and has strands going down to the lumbar vertebrae. When our breathing is full and deep, the diaphragm moves through its entire range downward to massage the liver, stomach, and other organs and tissues below it, and upward to massage the heart. When our breathing is full and deep, the belly, lower ribcage, and lower back all expand on inhalation, thus drawing the diaphragm down deeper into the abdomen, and retract on exhalation, allowing the diaphragm to move fully upward toward the heart. In deep, abdominal breathing, the downward and upward movements of the diaphragm, combined with the outward and inward movements of the belly, ribcage, and lower back, help to massage and detoxify our inner organs, promote blood flow and peristalsis, and pump the lymph more efficiently through our lymphatic system. The lymphatic system, which is an important part of our immune system, has no pump other than muscular movements, including the movements of breathing.

Deep Breathing for Relaxation
Many of us breathe too fast for the conditions in which we find ourselves, that is, we actually hyperventilate. This fast, shallow breathing expels carbon dioxide too quickly and has many bad effects on our physical and emotional health. When our breathing is deep, however–when it involves in an appropriate way not only the respiratory muscles of the chest but also the belly, lower ribcage, and lower back–our breathing slows down. This slower, deeper breathing, combined with the rhythmical pumping of our diaphragm, abdomen, and belly, helps turn on our parasympathetic nervous system–our “relaxation response.” Such breathing helps to harmonize our nervous system and reduce the amount of stress in our lives. And this, of course, has a positive impact on our overall health.

When you come right down to it, what is our life, but a series of moments? These moments can either be fully experienced or what we often do…

Ever try having a heartfelt conversation with the television blaring in the background? Ever eat a delicious meal while thinking about all the things you have to do tomorrow? Have you ever gulped down an expensive glass of wine because you were late for an appointment?

All too often we take wonderful experience and reduce their mpact by not being present or only being a little bit “in the moment”.

I’ve been struggling lately with “the moment”. I can feel my ego, battling for control, attempting to reclaim its former glory. Behaviors I thought I’d left far behind are returning. Yes, I’m experiencing a rough patch.

I have found a way however to get my mind off of the “thinking” me so it can focus on the “feeling” me. It’s as simple as using my senses.

Rather than worry about work the next day or a conversation I’m trying to avoid. I inhale, concentrate on what I’m smelling. I reach over and touch an object to see if it feels the way my sense memory tells me it does. I track my breathing. Feel my big toe pushing against the top of my shoe. I experience my shirt up against my skin. Anything that will stop me from thinking and getting caught up in my ego.

Next time you want to silence your inner voice: look, touch, smell, hear, taste!

Remember when the world was a wondrous place? Every bird, every flower, the sky, an anthill, all filled you with a sense of wonder and amazement? Isn’t it a shame that we’ve become de-sensitized to much of the beauty that surrounds us?

I was standing outside my dojo today and my teacher handed me his three month old daughter to hold. When I was inside the dojo she looked around a bit, but when we walked outside her face lit up. She first looked at the sky and was transfixed. Next she gazed at a tree blowing in the wind, a car, a passerby… everything amazed her.

How sad is it that we plan trips to see Nature in all her glory, when you probably walk by natural wonders every single day!

I remember when I used to live in New Jersey, I used to look out towards my back yard in awe saying to myself, I will never ignore the beauty that lies before me. A year later, I no longer saw the beauty. What I did see was the wooden fence that needed power washing, the grass that needed cutting and the bushes that needed trimming. What changed? My perception.

The good news is… you can reclaim the beauty you now disregard. All you have to do is wake up each morning and see the world with a baby’s eyes. In Japanese, it’s called shoshin – beginner’s mind. It refers to having an attitude of openness, eagerness, and lack of preconceptions.

They say “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s mind there are few.”

Perhaps we all need to go back to the beginner’s mind so we can truly appreciate the beauty that surrounds us!

Yesterday morning, I woke up very slowly.

I don’t know… My stomach, my head, something wasn’t right and I just didn’t feel like going to karate.

However, I persevered and I’m so glad I did! Karate is not only a social endeavor, but the warm up gets your blood (and endorphins I suspect) flowing and pretty soon, the stomach/headache went away.

Whether it’s a workout, a sales call, a job interview, an audition, or a date… it’s never really as bad as you imagine. And that’s the key… AS YOU IMAGINE!

Yes, it may be good to imagine what these events will be like so you can plan for contingencies (i.e. the unexpected question or request), but that’s not reality… at best, that’s imagined reality. Experience things in the present. Do die the death of a thousand cuts by imagining what will happen over and over again BEFORE you’re in the actual situation.

As for karate, it was great, and nothing like my mind imagined it. There was no pounding headache, no unsettled stomach, no thousand pushups. Just a great workout which left all my morning aches behind and opened me up to a glorious day!